Isaac threw me under the bus completely. I'm crushed and spattered all over the pavement. Everyone blames me and no one will believe me, even if I did tell them everything. I'm a martyr, nor am I victim. I don't need Isaac to take the blame because it was my decision first, but it would be nice if he stood up and said he didn't want this either. Isaac wont even admit to me that girl is his girlfriend, he really wants to appear clean.His mother called and didn't say her son wants to be with another girl that's why we should call it of. No, she said we should call it off because I'm so against it. She might as well have said, its because your daughter is so insolent. Of-course she wont let her son look bad in front of people.
My folks are whole different story. I had big showdown with my parents, mostly my dad. I confided in him about Isaac's "girlfriend" and he of-course wanted to confront him about it. I told my dad that Isaac confided in me because he's a coward and he doesn't have the guts to take it and I do. That made my dad really furious and that made me feel really special. In the evening, Isaac's mother called and we had another confrontation. That's when it became truly ugly, my dad accused me of making a mockery of our family. Apparently, he doesn't care how I feel and how dare I do this. How is going to face the family after this. I just felt small.
A few hours ago, I wrote him an email saying I'm done with him and the family. I'm done feeling bad because I do the right thing. I told him a lot of mean things, I actually told him the truth. Final conclusion: I am a coward because I would have broken down if I had to say those things to his face.
My folks are whole different story. I had big showdown with my parents, mostly my dad. I confided in him about Isaac's "girlfriend" and he of-course wanted to confront him about it. I told my dad that Isaac confided in me because he's a coward and he doesn't have the guts to take it and I do. That made my dad really furious and that made me feel really special. In the evening, Isaac's mother called and we had another confrontation. That's when it became truly ugly, my dad accused me of making a mockery of our family. Apparently, he doesn't care how I feel and how dare I do this. How is going to face the family after this. I just felt small.
A few hours ago, I wrote him an email saying I'm done with him and the family. I'm done feeling bad because I do the right thing. I told him a lot of mean things, I actually told him the truth. Final conclusion: I am a coward because I would have broken down if I had to say those things to his face.
ARGH!!!! <-- frustration & sympathy for you over the whole shebang. Good news: We both know doing the 'right thing' is not always clear or easy, but we also get experience over time of getting the right thing done, and when it isn't done exactly right -- then you and I can learn from it, and not automatically make the same kind of mistake again going forward. We can be assured we will instead, make new kinds of mistakes, but we can be a fabulous part of these new screw-ups, and with a certain amount of faith and kindness where we are not so hard on ourselves. I gotta be willing to keep being honest and being willing to take chances with -- and grow from -- the people in my life and not take it to heart of they try to blame me or label me as something. So you ain't a coward, far from it. And from what I read you did the best you could in the dramatic dishonesty around you. We are practicing the faith in actions of being honest and real, and like I said, it does not always come out exactly as it could be -- but you are way ahead of the secret coward or liar who does not have the moral courage to even *try* to be and do the right thing. You hang in there and be true-blue, like you are. Keep on telling it like it is.
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