broken

I broke it off with him through text. Yes, I'm a filthy coward.

My melt down is in full swing, broke into hysterical sobs while arguing with my brother. One good thing, I freaked him out.
He is surprisingly perceptive, realized our bickering wasn't the only reason that made me hysterical. Badgered me to confess what was bothering me, surprise - he might actually love me. Actually, he said so.

I need to fix myself and focus.

Summer brings out the worst

I don't understand why people love summer, I despise it. It brings out melancholy side in me,  I'm sliding in a full blown depression. I think I'm collapsing mentally, I think I've reached the brink of being used. I'm reaching a mental block. I cried today after dealing with my brother, he - as usual was blaming something on me. I sobbed like a really bad actress for a bit, my mom cried, too. She told me I'm her strong child and I can't break down, but I'm sick of being strong - I really want to be selfish. I might be evil or stupid or both. I don't care

25 - another damn year

I'm 25, I was in denial about 24 - now I'm 25. The tipping scale towards the 30s.

I took the day off from math class today, but everyone decided to take advantage of my free time and put me to work. NOW -I just want to curl in a ball and watch cartoons, except I got damn freaking homework to complete. Next time - shut up and go to school, ya idiot!

Also I didn't sleep last night, return of the nightmares. I realized I'm not going to be done studying until I'm 29 or 30. I should do something normal, maybe I should have a kid - you know for mementos sake or get a divorce.