HATE SUMMER!

I really and truly hate summer. California should be sued for false advertising. There is no fun in the sun! It's a 102 degrees and it's not "fun in the sun." Burn in the sun is more appropriate

SEE-world!

I think my dad get's ideas like flashing lighting. They blind him when they occur. One of those took place last night and now where on our way to San Diego, Sea World. It jsut came to him that he should take his precious brat pack somewhere and then this happens.

 I HaTe LA traffic, "It's gonna be bumpy ride."
---

My creepy side jumps up when I see little chubbsters.  Camera is always ready to click, I wanted to squeeze the brat but his dad and my dad were hovering close to me. Note: the pic is taken of him walking away from me.

Owwwieee

I have no upper body strength, that old lady next to me can lift the size 40 weights. I can't even lift the ten without my arms vibrating and then the string beans collapse. I'm not obsessed with my image, I'm obsessed with strength. I really hate being so tiny, I'm like a pocket-watch. Just tuck me anywhere, I want to be a toughest little pocket watch.

I run funny

Apparently, I run funny. I'm super-thin, I like to call myself slender others call me toothpick. I'm still conscious about my knees, but other than that I've learned to be comfortable with the way my body is.

I joined the Total Woman gym this week, I'm meeting up with a personal trainer who'll be advising me on my weight. I'm super active, but that's not the issue. The problem is I can't gain weight at all. I eat all my three meals and snack in the middle but it makes no difference. I have super small bones but I'm not bony. I'm soft with meat but in small portions. This sounds so weird, I'll stop talkign about my physical attributes.

 I've realized in that in these past two years I've managed to isolate myself from everyone other than Tara. School and reading is all I do and watching "The Simpsons", of-course. I need to start going out, I'm starting to resemble a vampire and I'm naturally tan! Plus, I need to start socializing. I've lost my old friends, I need to start making new one. One thing I really admire about myself is I can make friends anywhere and with anyone. Young, old, any race and gender. I always make pals with girls first, I don't like girls who hate on each other and also no one has your back like a girlfriend.

 I'm not the jealous type, so I have no insecurity issues when it comes to creating a friendship with girls. I can actually recall the two times that I had a hard time with girls. I think I can be a mean when I need to but I'm not mean. Not a racist, but both times I clashed with Asian chicks. The reason was academic, I beat them out both times by pure accident and they turned really ugly towards. I don't do well with mean people, come at me and they know what happen. I didn't even realize they had a issue with me until I found someone switched my answer key and handed it to the teacher.

  My friendship with guys has been strange, usually when they first approach me they seem a little flirty and then they start becoming really good, respectful friends with me. According, to Tara that means they respect me and are intimidated by me, respect is great and the rest not so much. Maybe I give of masculine energy? Great, now I sound like a real trashy tabloid article. Good NIGHT!

My pet peeves

1. Shoes in the house - First of all, I love shoes, all kinds of shoes - just love 'em! I just don't like them being used in the house. I really hate shoes that are worn outside and then walk inside the house. Dirt from outside coming inside the house is just wrong.

My mom starts yelling the moment we walk through the door if you don't remove your shoes at the entrance. Maybe it's a cultural thing or maybe its a germ thing.

2. Fur - I just hated, I don't like animals and I don't care about fur-fashion. I'm not crazy about animals but that doesn't mean I want their skin on mine. I hate faux fur, real fur, both look pretty disgusting. I really don't understand why women buy mink fur, I mean seriously!

3. Crushed tissues - 'nuff said! 

Grades! Not bad.

Computer Science   A
Anthropology          A
History                    B
Math                       C
GPA=3.666

I went from a 3.2 to a 3.6. I'm so pleased! Despite my math grade, I'm still pleased. I'm a bad test-taker I thought I would jeopardize my history grade and anthropology grade because of my test taking jitters. Math is something I've always battled with.  Bloody shame, my dad has been a math professor in many great colleges, University of Pepperdine being one of them.

 I have my eyes on the prize I need to push my GPA toward 4.0. I want to go to USC, I've earned it. I've waited and denied myself long enough, now I owe myself the best.  

Eyes on the prize.

New trend for ME

I'm loving Adele's nails, I don't want to grow mine quite as long but still long enough. I have really small, slender fingers and I do love growing my nails, might as well attempt growing them in this style.

This is what happens during the summer.  I have nothing better to do, so I decided to grow my nails.

Of-course, I can use fake nails and speed up the process but I hate fake nails. Fake hair, eyelashes, boobs, and fake anything that becomes an extension to the body. Not from a judgmental perspective, it just makes me shudder when I touch those items. Ever touched fake nails? They feel so real, remind of human sacrifices, the inside of my head is a freaky place.

empty

The tear within the seam of my soul keeps growing and I don't know how. 
The hollowness keeps showing and I don't know why.
This loss of longing makes me shy.
The fear of not wanting makes my existences cry.