I wont give up, I can't betray myself. I'm feeling the full burn of pressure of family loyalty, honor and emotional blackmail. I feel so alone, I can confide in someone but everyone thinks this is for the best. I'm really feeling like I'm drowning and they haven't even begun.
I don't seem to have any supporters either even my friends think this is splendid idea. My sister and younger bro are my only supporters but their inputs can't be considered valid. They can't force me to do this but they can certainly trick me into it. "NO" is like a bad word from my mouth.
I don't seem to have any supporters either even my friends think this is splendid idea. My sister and younger bro are my only supporters but their inputs can't be considered valid. They can't force me to do this but they can certainly trick me into it. "NO" is like a bad word from my mouth.
If you have someone you can truly talk to, you can be totally honest with, and you know they won't try to manipulate you into making a decision, pro or con, then talk to them. Being faced with an idea (or a decision) where you feel you will be betraying yourself -- I've never been happy with the results when I’ve felt I was betraying myself, or doing what everyone else thought was a 'splendid idea'. Standing on your own two feet, and dealing with disapproval, even weathering the dissaproval of your family. You can be respectful, but also firm. I know I don't know your family. If you don't know quite what to do, delay, delay, don't give in. Wait and see what develops. Is there any way to give yourself space to carefully think about whatever it is? It sounds hard, whatever you are facing, and I'm sorry to hear it.
ReplyDeleteDelaying I can work with, for some time. Thanks for that, seems like temporary solution. I can work with that for the time being.
ReplyDeleteGood, delay is an action, and action is what it is all about -- and find someone who you can talk to, I hope you have someone who can listen and be there for you, without drama, it is a hell of a thing to bottle things up and not be able to let out the fear and frustration. My mind then begons to clear a bit, and usually I know what I need to do. If no, I can see what happens next...
ReplyDeleteThe good news is today is today, and we are alive, and we don't know what will happen next. It is a very good thing to have this life, and good things happen as well as unpleasant things, though difficulty new good things are bound to be developing. Have courage!
ReplyDeleteYou know, I love getting your perspective on things. I'll respond in detail after a couple of days, I just wanted you to know that your advice is giving me peace.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to hear that anything I can write helps, and to be able to listen, to be able to channel peace, this is a good thing that lasts. Have a great day!
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