Well, I'm officially 24 years old. I feel old, so very old. Writing the number down is making me feel older. I can be considered a lady in her mid-twenties. Makes me feel worse.
My birthday is April 1st, yes I know April Fools Day - never heard that before. I like my birthday its a conversation starter, just like my name. The day of my birth was interesting, according to my mom I was her easiest child. I was born within 5 hours, contractions, labor and the "miracle of birth." My mom said she barely remembers the pain she had when she was giving birth to me. After I was born, she called her five sisters to tell them she'd given birth to a girl and no one believed her. Until mid-day no one came to see her, I was born at 5 am (on the dot). My grandfather finally decided to come down to the hospital and see for himself. That's how unreliable the news of my birth was.
THE PRESENT:
Now I feel pressure on me, marriage, education and self-criticism.
Marriage is something that has my mother pulling her out by her roots.
Education is something that is a painfully slow process, that is
turning my life into a drag.
Self-criticism, my expectations for myself can never be met. Sometimes I feel like I've become part of the person who I strive to be and sometimes I wonder why its taking me so long to become the person I want to be.
Happy birthday!
ReplyDeleteI'll never measure up to my expectations, but everything works out too, in wonderful and unexpected ways. I do the work, and then I see what happens.
I'm always becoming the person I want to be, and that is beautiful because there is always more to discover! I never run out of happiness and change.
I keep a good heart and my eyes on the horizon, and life is beautiful. Have a wonderful rest of your day!
I have to say, you sound really self-satisfied with yourself. I sincerely admire that : )
DeleteLike I wrote below -- not so much self saitified, but I have a faith that people and things have an underlying significance, and all experinces are ultimately constructive, not destructive. I gotta get with the flow, and see things for how the are, and not how I'd like them to be. I think we are constantly being encouraged to wake up, and be aware, I think this awareness is what it is all about.
DeleteSo you spend your whole life becoming you? When do you get stop and just be you? With the imperfections and without the disappointment?
ReplyDeleteYou are being you, right now. I am being me, right now. I can pause, in the moment, and have an appreciation for me and for others, but I can't stop. For me, being me is becoming me -- I am the process, the flow of becoming. It is like a river, time is like water. The river has snags, it has rapids, it flows smoothly, it goes through stages, the river gets to know the river by flowing. Change is constant. I never stop, I move through my imperfections, some go away, some change, some I get used to, some I learn to appreciate. Disappointments, they hurt at first, but then I find ways to let them go, or build with them, and make them into opportunities. I'm not self-satisfied with myself -- just more kind to myself, and seeking to be kind to others as time goes on.
ReplyDelete