Monday, May 5, 2014

Over the roller coster and on to another


I wasted this whole semester, my math grade is declining (er...more that usual). I'm over my little crush, still a virgin, but I feel glad and oddly relieved about not confessing about it to him. He wasn't a bad guy, just really lazy, but sweet. If I were with him any longer, I think I would have smothered him with a pillow. He was a great guy though, respectful, polite, and adorable. Even though I tried to pursue a romantic relationship with him, I would reach a point where I didn't want it to progress further. We parted on good terms, he and I continued to text each other this past week.

 I'm really glad I didn't let it progress into a sexual relationship, I would have really regretted it. As the days are going by I realized, I made all the plans and effort, he just sat back. Hence, the lazy comment, but I don't resent him. Learn and move on.

Overall, good experience - no regrets and I learned. If a guy doesn't chase you, he'll never be there for you.
Despite getting to know him, I realized he knew nothing about me. I'm not talking about my favorite book or movie - actually, I don't think he knows that either - but me, my lifestyle, my background. He didn't bother to ask and I didn't bother to tell, I think even if asked me I would have summarized it vaguely. I never ever feel comfortable enough to let my guard down completely. 

There are two people you’ll meet in your life. One will run a finger down the index of who you are and jump straight to the parts of you that peak their interest. The other will take his or her time reading through every one of your chapters and maybe fold corners of you that inspired them most. You will meet these two people; it is a given. It is the third that you’ll never see coming. That one person who not only finishes your sentences, but keeps the book.


Now back to me : I need to get atleast a 70% on my upcoming math test or I'm going to flunk that class and USC will never even consider me. 

P.s. I gotta get over my obsession with USC and look around.

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2 comments:

  1. CMMay 7, 2014 at 9:26 AM

    My prejudice towards reality itself gets in the way, it has for years, but I'm slowly getting over it. You are on the path too, of getting over how to see things in a certain way -- or even think things in a certain way. Yogi Berra said you can see a lot, if you look. Eventually, I believe we get so good at being aware, just naturally aware, that things tend to fall into place, as long as we are willing to do the work. I understand you are doing the work, and so there will be beautiful results. More confidence, and kindness, too. This is my rather philosophical waxing right now, which I should rein in and just be nice, listen, and smile more. I have a book of cartoons for you, so I will have to give you it or mail it to you. : - ) CM

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  2. Everything n Nothing At AllMay 27, 2014 at 12:49 AM

    I would really like that - soon : )

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