Last night I had the strangest dream. I usually have weird dreams, that make no sense at all. You know, with a cheese moon, geese singing the opera and little kids wearing colored contact lenses, the usual. This dream seemed so real, every now and then I get a realistic dream that leaves me some sort of real emotion even after I become conscious.
Last night's dream was like that, it left me with a twinge of sadness. I was in a warm yellow, glowing kitchen and I was holding a baby close to my heart. There was a man cooking or frying something on the stove. It was a perfect serene sense of atmosphere in this scene. I know the baby was mine, my heart felt full of love. The man near the stove was my partner, I'm positive because the whole scene seemed so natural and meant to be. There was a comfortable silence and I stood near him with baby. That's all, nothing more or nothing less. I've seen that man before, I rarely forget a face - he's just a person I saw a few years ago - basically a nobody. Then I woke up to my Russian, former communist neighbor screaming at his wife - he starts at 6 am every weekend. I just remember feeling suddenly cold and sad.
If I read my dream description anywhere I would label it as sneer worthy and dismiss it. I don't long for things like that nor do I really want that kitchen scene. It just fired up a different emotion in me and left a sense of yearning in its wake.
My mom is not someone I would ever talk to about that, but she would say my biological clock wants me to half a baby and she might actually be right. My friend, Tara was over today and we discussed it and she thinks I need to find my soul mate instead of mocking the theory.
My take on soul mates is...well, how should I put it intellectually - Balderdash! That theory is drag version of Disney productions. In life you might encounter someone worthwhile or you might never.
Last night's dream was like that, it left me with a twinge of sadness. I was in a warm yellow, glowing kitchen and I was holding a baby close to my heart. There was a man cooking or frying something on the stove. It was a perfect serene sense of atmosphere in this scene. I know the baby was mine, my heart felt full of love. The man near the stove was my partner, I'm positive because the whole scene seemed so natural and meant to be. There was a comfortable silence and I stood near him with baby. That's all, nothing more or nothing less. I've seen that man before, I rarely forget a face - he's just a person I saw a few years ago - basically a nobody. Then I woke up to my Russian, former communist neighbor screaming at his wife - he starts at 6 am every weekend. I just remember feeling suddenly cold and sad.
If I read my dream description anywhere I would label it as sneer worthy and dismiss it. I don't long for things like that nor do I really want that kitchen scene. It just fired up a different emotion in me and left a sense of yearning in its wake.
My mom is not someone I would ever talk to about that, but she would say my biological clock wants me to half a baby and she might actually be right. My friend, Tara was over today and we discussed it and she thinks I need to find my soul mate instead of mocking the theory.
My take on soul mates is...well, how should I put it intellectually - Balderdash! That theory is drag version of Disney productions. In life you might encounter someone worthwhile or you might never.
Yet I'll let you in on my favorite theory, I read it when I was 16 and I've been in its thrall since then. Except I would never let anyone know that I'm captivated by this version. In "The Symposium" by the philosopher Plato, he created the possibility of the existence of soul mates. His take was that the gods created humans with four arms, four legs, two faces and only one soul. Zeus was threatened by the power of that one soul and decided to split it in half, hence damming us to spend our lives trying to find the other half of ourselves. Basically, we spend all our lives try to find the other half of our soul. This theory made me actually feel dreamy, I like it but I would never become enslaved to that idea.
Then again, Plato was also talking about androgynous existence in that theory, so I don't know where he was coming or going with that.
Then again, Plato was also talking about androgynous existence in that theory, so I don't know where he was coming or going with that.
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